Helsinki, my greatest love

I know I have not blogged in a terribly long time. It is due to the sole fact, I am to busy living life. On the bus ride back today I had time to just think. And thinking can have many different outcomes- more questions, answers, distruction, growth- all come. Its beautiful I think. But just as many adventures I have I want you to share them with me. This is my current feeling.

I want to personally express to you a certain feeling. I do not know how long this will take to get across or how many cliches it will be drenched in. So bare with me. This is for you.

Dear You,

You're human. You breathe and feel a wide range of emotions. You are capable of great love and great hatred. You get up every day and look outside.

At one point in time you will, or have,  experience great love. That kind where it could be romantic or it could be your best friend in college. This could even be baraista you see every morning. What ever that is, it is your story. But you will. You are human. Humans love.

This realtionship is something differnt. You know the little things. The way they work. The way they move. All of it. It is tough to be there sometimes: you're tired in the morning and just need the coffee. Not the ording, or the small talk. Just the coffee. Its good coffee. But only because of your barista. 

You could go and make your own. But no. You keep going there. Theres something special.

That special is to you. And you alone! That's the beauty. You hold a secret. A treasure

This relationship will only truly be known to you. Honestly though. You love honestly.

One day will come, you will wake up and realize how much you love that coffee house. Something is changeing. New people come. You wonder and find a new street with a new cafe. You dont want to leave that coffee house though. Its yours. Its something for you. 

You accept it and walk through the new doors. And order a tea for once.

But you never forget the love for the cafe with small red chairs and the kind eyed barista.

The feeling above is the feeling of watching my exchange year starting to come to an end.

 They all say don't focus on leaving. But on those buses, its all I can think about. It makes you realize those around you. I wouldn't change that for anything. Destructing is found now, only growth.

I am deeply and passionaltly in love with this city. And seriously, not just the city. But the people and the family. The common faces at the school. And all of it. I can go on for hours but truly, just like a lover. No one can directly feel your feelings. Its something special. I want for you to have the beauty of realating. I am sure you can.

It is like having a lover with a most wonderful time and knowing the realtionship will come to an end. Trying to fight to accept it. Because it will come. And life, well it goes on.

Write back soon,

Annalee Sekulic

Ansku

Mother Finland 

Miss America 

YOU SWAM NAKED WHERE?

Yeah, in the Baltic Sea when it was 17 degrees out side. No big deal

Lets just say I was kinda shocked. I went for what I though would have been a norma sauna. Normal, minus there would be random women who I would see naked.

Nakedness has become a part of life.

So when I walked in, after being quickly taken back by the large quantity of naked women and facing the slight uncomfortableness that comes with the realization that many people will see you naked. I dived right in. Actually.

It was one of the most relazatng days I have every had. 

The ice water stung my skin. It felt like needles. But it was okay. You got out and you felt alive in a different way than ever before. I ran through the snow and back to the showers. Ice cold shower. Sauna more.

We took a break and enjoyed a finnish salad. Saunaed more. Talked, relax. Then enjoyed coffee.

Jokerit

Falling in love with hockey

For christmas I and the family, were given tickets to go and see the Jokerit team play aginst the team from Mascow. It was such a large event. With cheerleaders and dancers. The game was an intese game as well, even if the turn out of the score may have not been as good.

I support  Jokerit as the best team in the whole world. 

Ykä would be proud.

The little things

Okay, so my head is beginning to wander. And since you're reading this then please enjoy the random thoughts dealing with exchange student struggles.

I am coming to the last time when I must switch families.
Some poeple may think "ah you've done it once, you can do it again."
Yes, I can. But I have to go in with no expectations- which is the hardest thing one must do

I am going to be honest. I do not want to switch. And it is not because the next family is bad or anything, to be true, I don't even know them yet. They seem lovely from all I know.

The hard part is- getting knocked off your feet again.

When I came here it was hard. I didn't know anything. I was naive. I had to find my ground.

Then I switched to my second and current. It was rough at first because I didn't have my footing- problems like where do I find new sheets and what time is an appropriate curfew, were all new struggles. I had to adapt with the family.

This is such a great thing I learned here is- to adapt. To be flexible. You have to be willing to change. When you change, you learn.

I am so lucky to say that now I have two wonderful families here which love me so greatly. And I love them.

So now, right when I get settled in and comfortable. Everything works great. I must switch again. This is hard but its good. I am going to learn to adapt again. And because of that, I will gain new experiences.


So yes. I under stand the logic.

But damn. I know I will be exhausted. I know theses things will happen.

It is so difficult to find out the little things.
The most important things


All in all. I am excited to go meet this family in the coming week

But I am terrified to leave home again.

Helsinki Hockey with the Helsinki Gang

Hey I have some free tickets to go see hockey, ya wanna go?

Yeah!

This lead to an insane night of an American, a French, a Paraguayan, and a Canadian. All going to watch the sport of hockey unfold. 

I texted my host father which team , he said SIPA... tampere team. 

Moi

So it may have been a few weeks since I last posted on here

In my defense, I am an exchange student.

I travel
I learn
I stay busy

So get ready for another hour of me straight blogging untill I have to leave school and catch a bus to travel to Tampere.

Loving this life

Six Months

I take a deep breath as I begin to write this one
It is a heavy breath
One which shakes your thoughts

I am currently sitting at the local libaray. Bundled up in big scaves and bigger sweaters. I look out the window to my left at a snowcoated landscape. and I just laugh.

It has been half a year.

I remember when it was only my first month.

So much has changed since then.

I speak finnish
I travel more
I have close finnish friends
I have families
I know the city
I have a local cafe which knows my "usual"
I know how to work school
I understand the school
I don't get lost on the buses anymore
I adore the quiet
I get the personal space
I relish the food
I go naked in suana
I jump naked into the snow after suana
I have routien
I love the exchange student culture
I kick box
I study four languages
I travel to musuems regulary
I drink way more coffee

The list goes on and on on things which have changed.

But the list of what is different about me is even longer.
I guess it is because I am a new person.
I knew this would happen walking into it, I just never really believed it.

I feel so confortable here now. I no longer feel like an exchange student, or even foregin.

Somethings still make me laugh,

the sandwitches
the language
my accent
the pineapple hair
the no snowdays
the honesty

I guess now I have two homes. That's a nice thought. That you are warmly welcomed with open arms of people who really love you.

I have no idea where I would be if this year has not happened. I wonder what will happen in the next six months.

I am off to go have coffee now with some friends. I wish you to have a good day. Thank you for reading and sticking with me. We will see what is to come! Who knows!

Häminliennä. A midevil town

Monday, a Alaskan, Italian, and me went and visited a Candaian two hours north.

This day started with a two hours sitting in a coffee house talking and laughing. Musuems! A stop at a comunity center where they let us pain a window and become Warriors.

Then we bought grocereries and had a pinic at the local Castle (photos to come later.)

 

I

 

 

 

Oh, hei, booking a ticket back.

Sunday was spent with paperwork and boardgames

 

 

It was snowy and I feel on top of life.

 

Untill I had to book the ticket home.

 

Now I am not telling the date I will comeback, I mean my family and my rotary knows. But I want to have at least a week to relax, ride my horse, sleep, and well just be before I have to get back to meeting everyone and juggling life again? You can get that right?

 

But it was hard to book the date back.

 

scary

 

I am not the person I was when I left.

I am not in the cloest way

 

 

It is scary and I can't explain how

 

just trust me when I say I am more terrfied going back than I was when leaving