I also have some thoughts which I feel need to be expressed. These thoughts may change come the end of the year, actually they probably will. This is good for personal reflection though.
So please before you begin to read, get a cup of tea or coffee or whatever your heart desires and just take a break. Taking a break is good and is needed to fully feel everything, I think.
Break though one:
People take care of you in different ways.
I got sick this week, right, and I was expecting to get medicine from my family which would just take care of it right away. That didn't really happen. It threw me for a loop though and I didn't realize it. It wasn't until half way though that I noticed I was being terribly ignorant. Yes, I took care of myself I now know that I can. But since I was being ignorant I didn't realize that my host family did have medicine for me and that they didn't wake me up when I feel asleep on the couch. They gave me space to nap and relax. They gave me the tools to get better. There were there if I asked for it.
this leads to
Break Through two:
You have to ask for help.
In the USA, people are just very helpful. They will help you without you having to ask, but they only help to a certain point and then you are expected to have your stuff in gear enough to carry on your own. Its not bad it is just what it is.
In Finland just just won't come up and help you. If you look confused, they will let you look confused because the thought is that is intrusive if you help. Maybe the person does not want help. I see it now. I get it. Why would you want to be rude and make a person feel awkward and self conscious? But if you just ask. If you just say, "Hey I am lost" or "hey I am having a bad day". The fins will help you get to your feet and then help you along your way. They won't just leave you hanging, trying to get your act in gear when you don't have it. They will take care of you for the long run. Finnish people are the so much more genuinely helpful than those in the states.
This was a hard lesson to learn and I am still learning it almost two months in. I am happy I didn't learn it right away though because I learned how to pick my self up and carry on with out any help at times. But now if I know I can't handle it or I have truly reached my limits, I can just ask for help.
It is scary to ask for help but sometimes you need to recognize your own courage. It is there.
Break Trough three:
Be careful with your words and take others words for what they are
When they ask, "how you are doing?". They actually want to make sure you are handling life okay and that you are doing well. In America, we use it as more as a greeting- something to say. Here, they won't always say it. If they do not have anything to say to you, they won't say hello. And when they do say something!! They mean it! It is rude to just talk to someone and be wasteful with your words- you are being rude by taking there time. It is so great!!
If you say "oh I'm just tired." one said to me "get some more sleep then" And not rudely at all, but my counselor explained it as they want to help you not be tired.
Compliments too are rare. My self confidence had to be recreated on what I think of myself not "oh she liked it! its good!" It is now, "man I like this."
Now when I say something I have had the trouble of saying "oh I love you! you're such a good friend!" which resulted in being asked out! Now do laugh but what you say has to have meaning and you must think it through. Make sure your words count when you say them. And most importantly, do not lie.
Now I have wrote a lot here and this post has been written then I go for a walk and I go and come back. It is now 8 at night hahah. But it is all just all still true. A friend and I joked about how this year gave a whole new definition to the word Life.
th video below was taken when I was half asleep so please forgive the bad camera angle and me just not caring hahahah
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